My cookie tastes like a pen

Inspired by Ben’s work-related post, here’s a peek into my office:

  • A coworker’s response to a remark about his habit of clipping his nails at his desk:
    “What? At least you know I’m well groomed.”
    What I know is to avoid your office during your grooming sessions, lest I get a nail clipping in my eye.
  • From the mail room lady:
    “Would you like some cheese and jalapeno grits?”
    Yes. A thousand times, yes.
  • A local restaurant dropped off “goody bags” with coupons and pens to drum up some lunch business. I high-five a coworker about our good fortune–coupons and a pen!?! I find out later that each of the bags also had a cookie in them, but the fat bitch switchboard operator took them all out and ate them over the next 3 days. Now I think my pen sucks.
  • The boss is on vacation this week, and I had to show him how to set up his automatic email “away” message. For the fourth time.

    I will not be watering his plants in his absence.

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10 thoughts on “My cookie tastes like a pen

  1. People who eat all the treats? They must go away. And quickly. I think a mob-style confrontation might work. Or it might not. She needs to know that you know!

  2. ben – If I could I would, but I don’t know how…

    dolce – I’m not sure she’d notice. She’s a BEAST!

    brazenbaretoe – Me too. When I hear the tell-tale sound, I take a 15 minute I-need-to-get-the-hell-out-of-here break.

    kate – She knows I know, because she revealed herself like it was some hilarious joke.

    Listen, biotch, if you shared with me, I might think it was funny.

    But you didn’t, so I don’t.

    arjewtino – I think she is the Cookie Monster and the Hamburglar combined.

  3. You should gather up the nail clippings, put them in a batch of cookies and give them to the switchboard operator.

    What? Fingernails? Are you kidding? Don’t you know coconut when you see/taste it?

  4. dingo – I could never befoul an oatmeal cookie in such a manner!

    the writer – Don’t tell my mom, but I LOVE cheese grits.

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