I am a pariah (and not in a good way)

Screw you, Monkey Plague of the Eye. I was trapped in my house with no visitors and no cable, with only the dogs for company. Hemo fled the scene when I started blaming her for my affliction, and only returned for meals. I did, however, watch some interesting movies. If you come down with Monkey Plague of the Eye, I recommend adding the following to your Netflix queue to help you survive while society shuns you:

Striking Distance

Not something I would have ever picked, but it was recommended to me by a friend. Pretty much your typical Bruce Willis action movie. I like SJP, I think she’s beautiful, but every time I see her I think about the Family Guy episode where Peter says her face looks like a foot. I’m not sure what that means, but I can kind of see it.

Bad Mutha Fudruckers rate it: 7 (out of 10)

Little Big Man

This is one of my favorite books, and I didn’t know there was a movie made of it until yesterday. Is it weird to say that Dustin Hoffman was kind of attractive when he was younger? Because by the end of the movie I had a crush on him. Faye Dunaway is in this movie and is supposed to be this beautiful woman, but all I see is Joan Crawford. Watch the movie, but seriously, read the book. Little Big Man is like Forrest Gump, but with Indians.

Bad Mutha Fudruckers rate it: 6

Envy

I’ve seen this movie in the “4 for $20” bin at Wal-Mart like 50 times, but I never picked it up. Mistake. This movie is way funny, and Christopher Walken as J-Man the barfly is hilarious. This movie is worth watching, if only for Jack Black’s hair-do. I want a shiny white horse named Corky, too.

Side note: I would totally buy VaPOOrize. Heck, I’d even buy a can for Steve’s neighbors.

Bad Mutha Fudruckers rate it: 7.5

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I love this movie. It makes me cry every time. I love watching the arc of Clementine and Joel’s relationship in reverse. I hate her gross hair, though. And I hate that he sleeps on a pull-out couch. Now I really want to take a train to Montauk and walk along the beach in the snow. Oh, and Elijah Wood plays yet another creepy character that you really just want to punch.

Bad Mutha Fudruckers rate it: 9

American History X

I put this in my Netflix queue at Steve’s suggestion, and it arrived just in time for my Quarantine Movie Marathon. I’ve been an Ed Norton fan ever since Death to Smoochy, and he does not disappoint in this movie. There are some pretty disturbing scenes, including the obligatory prison shower rape scene and a “curb stomping.” **shudder** Fairuza Balk, the girl with the coolest name ever (in my mind I call her Vercua Salt, but that is besides the point) sports a punk Hitler haircut.

Bad Mutha Fudruckers rate it: 8.5

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11 thoughts on “I am a pariah (and not in a good way)

  1. I like Striking Distance too. I just watched American History X. I love that movie. Edward Norton is HOT in it. Not that I am into guys with swastika tattoos, but still he is hot.

  2. I’ve never been able to look at a curb the same way again.

    And that kid from T2 made an appearance. wtf.

    ESOTSM is one of my top 3 all time favorites. I blogged about it once way back when.

  3. ben – You should watch it again. Or I could just watch it again for you.

    kate – I had a dream once where Bruce Willis was my dad. So now I kind of feel like he is my dad.

    lbluca77 I feel the same way. I’m not really into neo-Nazi skin heads, but something about Ed Norton all ripped up and kicking ass in basketball does it for me.

    so – Man, that curb scene is hard to watch. So I had to double up on awesome movies and watch ESOTSM followed directly after by Garden State. I love a good cry.

  4. You know when Hemo disappears he’s going to rub is Monkey Plague of the Eye diseased self all over your towels and tissues.

  5. Pariah is too strong a word for you to use…unless it’s pink eye and then … OOOOEY! Get away! Glad to see that you were able to expand your mind during your quarantine.

    Happy wandering!

    The Writer…and her dog, Bear

  6. That’s so like a cat to do that. When I’m sick my cat sits next to me and sticks his whiskers in my nose.

    Just to be a jerk.

    He doesn’t do it any other time.

  7. Hahahhahaa welcome back Hemo!Ps. I love how you desircbed how you embarassed her in front of her crew . Hemo is a badass Hemo *is* a bad ass. Did I mention she is now climbing trees and (hopefully) killing birds?

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