Really?

Bumper stick seen on the back of a Kia Rio this morning: “Sorry, Officer, I thought you wanted to race.”

First of all, I don’t think it’s a smart idea to taunt the police. There ain’t no talking your way out of a speeding ticket with that baby plastered to your bumper. Don’t even think about crying or showing a little skin, either. You take that ticket. Take it like a man.

Secondly, and more importantly…a Kia Rio? I don’t drive a flashy car (Honda Civic gas sipper, woot woot!), but I’m pretty sure a Kia Rio isn’t going to beat anyone in a race. Maybe not even those scooters I routinely get stuck behind doing 35, maybe 40 mph on the streets of Wilmington.

In conclusion, sir, I think you would be better served by a different bumper sticker. Might I suggest the following:

or

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14 thoughts on “Really?

  1. Hmmm … that would be a tough choice. However, even though the first one is really funny, I’d say that person should use the “douchebag” sticker. Since, clearly, anyone who drives a Kia Rio with such a stupid bumper sticker is a douchebag.

  2. My Focus isn’t too bad on the speed thing, but I’m sure as shit not trying to race in it. 4 cylinders, woop woop! Plus, I really like NOT getting tickets. I like it so much that I practice every day, with great success.

    My favorite bumper sticker says “My other ride is your mom” just because I’m secretly a 12 year old boy and still laugh at your mom jokes. That Kia isn’t cool enough to have that bumper sticker though.

  3. kate – I know, but I’d hate to think he would think he was sporting it ironically. Because he really is a douchebag. Maybe if there were an arrow…

    marie – You’re right…more is more, in this case.

    lump – Wait–you eat their dust? That is wrong. Unless you are riding your bike.

    daisee579 – Laughing all the way from the pump to the bank twins!

    just a girl – I LOVE not getting tickets! Also, I love that bumper sticker.

  4. Honda Civic club.

    The first rule of Honda civic Club is don’t talk about Honda Civic Club.

    The second rule is don’t talk about honda civic club

    the third rule is if you have a Honda Civic you must tell everyone how great the gas mileage is.

  5. Bumper stickers are such a dilemma for me. I mean, some of them? Effen hilarious. But, then I see cars with bumper stickers and I think they’re kinda tacky. sigh

  6. I miss bumper stickers! My car used to be COVERED… now I’m a city girl and car-less 😦

    Ah well, it’s better for my ass to walk everywhere anyway.

  7. rs27 – Shit. 1 out of 3 ain’t bad, right?

    nilsa – I hate the people who cover their cars with bumper stickers, but then have a sticker saying something like “if you can read this, you’re too close.” Hello?!? I’m just trying to read your car.

    lilu – See above: Did you get rear ended a lot? I mean, in your car. I mean, did you car ger rear ended a lot.

    I suck at not making sex jokes.

  8. Here here. Honestly, I think bumper stickers of any kind are just asking for trouble. Someone is going to disagree with you, no matter what.

    If you want to express your views in person, fine. But don’t plaster them on your car, leave it parked and be surprised when you come back and find it defaced. You had it coming, sadly.

  9. I had to call my girlfriend the other day while driving down the street because I was following a truck with this bumper sticker on it.

    “I’m only speeding because I have to poop.”

    Yep.

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