6 saltines in 60 seconds, you say?

I’ve mentioned before that I am fascinated by competitive eating. Last night I was over at Julie’s for Friends’ Christmas, which was a ton of fun and I scored some awesome gifts. Like this scarf (thanks, Kristin!):


But this post is not about how awesome my new scarf is, or how delicious the crab legs, shrimp, and oysters were, or even how delicious my Sailor Sarahs are. This post is about slamming saltines.

C challenged K to eat 6 saltines in 60 seconds. Sounds easy, right? I mean, I regularly hoover a whole sleeve in what feels like no time at all. The rules are simple: 6 saltines, chewed and swallowed, with nothing to drink, in 1 minute.


K stepped up to the plate. Around cracker 4, though, it became evident that she wasn’t going to make it.

It was sad, my friends. I offered to coach K in the fine art of competitive eating, so that next year she can redeem her good name.

I’m not-so-secretly wondering if I am up to the challenge. I’ll get back to you on that one…

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23 thoughts on “6 saltines in 60 seconds, you say?

  1. That sounds like the challenge in college. For every beer one person drinks, the other has to drink a soda (Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, etc.). It’s virtually impossible to keep up with the beer drinker without getting sick to your stomach. Maybe you should pull that challenge out of the bag next time. At least one of the two people will have fun. =)

  2. Now I’m secretly wondering if I can slam 6 in 60. I love saltines, but I tend to put cream cheese or peanut butter on them. The cream cheese might make them go down faster, but the peanut butter might make an ambulance ride necessary.

  3. I haven’t been able to do it. I do know someone who almost successfully completed the hour challenge with a gallon of milk. He drank all the milk, and that would’ve been fine if not for the vomiting.

  4. I swear that I read that it’s impossible to do that because your both doesn’t generate enought saliva to swallow it (that’s what she said).

  5. ben – That doesn’t make you any less of a man, Ben. Well, maybe it does. But I don’t judge.

    nilsa – I’m playing this game with my stepbrothers.

    daisee – I feel like I could do it. But the thought of eating 6 saltines with pb in 60 seconds makes me want to throw up.

    I-66 – So close, yet…

    lbluca77 – The dogs LOVE it when food falls out of my mouth.

    trish – Me too. Me too.

    kate – I said I’d keep you posted! Not yet.

    andy – I’m pretty much awesome. I rock people’s socks off all the time.

    dr zibbs – Now I’m thirsty…

    lilu – Me too…watching me attempt this! To dream…the impossible dream!

    dolce – They are fun. It’s like talking to yourself, but socially acceptable.

  6. Ok I can even tell you have mad skillz with that guitar.

    I’ve tried that saltine crackers challenge. Not east AT ALL. Water please!

  7. Yeah, this is hard to do. I have a hard time eating three saltines at all. Ever. With no beverages, I can look at three for sixty seconds before I get queasy.

    Have you tried the white bread challenge? One slice of white bread in sixty seconds with no beverages. Or the Twinkie challenge: three Twinkies in sixty seconds with no beverages.

    You know, you might have a bright future in the minute-or-under division of timed competitive eating….

  8. I very much want to try this.

    I feel though I’d be much more successful if they were Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies instead of saltines. It might be something to consider, I’m just saying…

  9. Nope. Can’t do it. It cannot be done. I spent three months eating saltines to fight off the pukes and I will tell you that it is not humanly possible to eat six in a minute without water.

    But I like to watch people try…

    Hint.

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