I burned my bangs off with a curling iron. True.

So Andy over at Film, Tape, and Steel Strings offered to humor interview me (ok, really I volunteered because I’m still not in the I-can-totally-write-a-funny-blog-post-no-problem mode). Here are the 5 questions he asked me with my answers. Now I’m supposed to send 5 new questions to anyone else who’s interested; just leave me a comment letting me know you’d like to be interrogated interviewed and I’ll come up with 5 brilliant and insightful questions and email them to you. It’s possible that I’ve gotten some of this stuff wrong so check out Andy’s blog for the real rules.

1) If you have one physical possession that means more to you than all others, what is it?

Growing up as a military brat, my family moved a lot and I ending up losing having to part with a lot of stuff, so I view most of my possessions as replaceable. I won’t count the animals, even though legally they are possessions, but if the house was on fire they would probably beat me out of the door (or in Hemo’s case, push me down on her way out a la George Costanza). If my house was on fire and I could only grab one thing, I’d probably grab my electric skillet, because that thing makes some AWESOME hash browns and I even made soup in it once. True, I could buy another one at Wal*Mart for $19.99, but what if Wal*Mart burned down, too? I’d be S.O.L.

2)What is an embarrassing High School moment that you had to live through?

In high school, I played clarinet in the marching band, and no, that’s not the embarrassing moment. My sophomore year, we marched in the Junior Orange Bowl Parade in Florida. I was so pumped. We were going to DisneyWorld, too. Double pumped. I was getting ready at 4am to get on the bus, going through my usual routine of curling my bangs in the infamous claw-over-the-forehead style, when the stench of burning hair assaulted my nose. All 20 strands of hair that made up my bangs had seperated themselves from my head and were seared onto the curling iron. I lost my shit. Crying, screaming, peeking at my crispy baby bangs through red, puffy eyes, I jammed a Mickey Mouse ball cap on my head and boarded the bus with my bandmates. My bangs have never been the same.

3) Who is your “favorite” blogger/blog and why?

My favorite blogger is Dingo over at As I Was Saying. She was one of the first commentors on my blog, and she has become my blog hero. She’s had like a million different jobs, from stewardess to attorney to college professor, and has the baddest Photoshop skills you’ve ever seen. Plus she has a baby pigeon named McJagger (well, maybe he’s not a baby anymore, or even a boy, and maybe he no longer resides on her porch or enjoys Dingo Girl’s protection, but still, McJAGGER? Come on! That’s golden.) Also I want her on my side during the zombie apocalypse, because she’s devoted some serious time to planning for and surviving said apocalypse.

4) Your favorite nickname someone else has given you*.

Well, it’s definitely not Wine Eye. My sisters called me Sarah Jeanie Weenie when we were little and I hated that, too. My senior year of high school, though, I developed an insane crush on my AP American History teacher, Mr. Tucker. Man, my knees still get weak thinking about him. I had (and filmed, the shame!) a fake wedding in which my Little Foot stuffed dinosaur stood in for Mr. Tucker at the altar. I was convinced that when I saw him at the Homecoming football game the year after I graduated, he’d offer to take me for a ride on his motorcycle, and then propose marriage. I guess I don’t need to tell you what didn’t happen that night. Sigh.

What we were talking about? Oh yeah, nicknames. There were only 6 people in my history class, and when we were learning about the Battle of Saratoga, Mr. Tucker started calling me Saratoga Jean (my middle name is Jean, if you haven’t picked that up already) and it is now my email address, my screen name, and my first and only tattoo. Ok, one of those is a lie. But Mr. Tucker, if you are out there…I love you. Still. Call me.

5) If you had to move to a major city somewhere in the US, what would it be
and why?

I’d move to Honolulu, because I couldn’t stand to be anywhere colder than where I am right now. We lived in Hawai’i for 6 years when I was in elementary school, and if money wasn’t a consideration I’d moved back in a heart beat. The ocean is beautiful, the water is clear and warm all year long, the food is an absolutely delicious blend of Polynesian and Asian influences, the culture is fascinating, and even on your worst day, you are still in Hawai’i. The best corn on the cob and the best shave ice I’ve ever eaten were from roadside vendors on the way home from the North Shore. Man, I need to start saving my pennies.

So, who’s next?
*I don’t believe in giving yourself a nickname. That’s why I slapped several people in the face at a bar who were calling my friend Ashley “A-bomb.” It’s not a real nickname, guys, she gave it to herself. Stop calling her that. Call her “Smashley.” It’s funnier.

I know I shouldn’t have slapped the innocents who didn’t know any better. But I couldn’t help myself. My rage blinded me.

22 thoughts on “I burned my bangs off with a curling iron. True.

  1. I love that that’s how you got your nickname! And how long it’s stuck around. It even made me want to google the Battle of Saratoga. In fact, I still might.

    And I might be interested in being interrogated.

  2. I’m so glad to finally learn the story behind the nickname. I got “Daisee” from an ex-bf who used to call me “Flower” based on my real name. When I signed up for AOL way back in like 1994 or something, Flower was taken, so I tried Daisy and ended up on Daisee. I don’t talk to the ex and really have no desire to, but the name is still here ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Those are some pretty awesome questions.

    I have no nickname because my name is THAT boring. Ok I shouldn’t say that because I was named after my grandmother. Well both of them actually. I just have never revealed the second part of my name on my blog.

    Sorry, this cold has made me blab random stuff.

  4. Oh my god I so thought it was gonna read “I played clarinet in the marching band, nuff said”

    HA! No seriously though the clarinet is um ya pretty cool.


  5. andy – I started without you. Sorry.

    kate – Oh Mr. Tucker. I’ll never forget you. Now I have to think of some good questions for you, Kate.

    daisee – See? Nickname stories are cool. Though I’d never want to hear the story behind someone’s nickname like ‘longdong6969’ or something. I can probably guess…

    marie – Named after two grandmothers? Me too! I’m lucky I got ‘Sarah Jean’ rather than ‘Eugenia.’ Thanks again, Mom.

    lbluca77 – It’s ok. It wasn’t cool then, either.

  6. You’ve made my day! The bloggy love goes both ways. Your pics are so hilarous and I love your stories about the boys, Hemo, those nefarious birds, and other misadventures. Speaking of birds, yes, McJagger is still around and he’s learned how to fly!

    So, was this hair burning incident back in the days when you were supposed to shellac your hair with Mink or Alberto VO5 before curling your bangs? Because a hat could hide the burns but nothing but ammonia would ever cover the burned hair spray smell.

  7. dingo – Sometimes I think about McJagger, and I wonder how he is doing. I’m glad to hear he’s learned how to fly and has not fallen prey to any Odd Boy-type characters.

    As far as the hair burning incident, I think my weapon of choice was a big bottle of Suave Extreme Hold Pump hairspray. Which, incidentally, is not flame-retardant.

    surviving myself – Sure, rub it in.

  8. Ohh those bangs. I used to have the ones that you could only curl on a 3 inch barrel because they were apparently subbing in for the bill of a hat. God that was a bad look. And the stiff pump hairspray – why didn’t anyone tell us about aerosol?

  9. “played clarinet in the marching band, and no, that’s not the embarrassing moment” HA! the best line in the whole post. I’m embarrassed for you, actually. kidding. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I hope you have stayed away from curling irons. And I’d like to see a photo of Mr. Tucker. Please and Thank you. that is if you can make that happen.

  10. This was fun! I can’t believe you burned off your bangs. I would react the exact same way as you did if it happened to me.

    I’m 28.

    Yeah, I still pout like a five year old when I don’t get my way either.

  11. just a girl – The bangs were horrible! I mean, seriously, I did myself a favor by burning them off. And I used the pump hair spray because I thought it was better for the environment. I’m sure incinerating it wasn’t so environmentally friendly.

    lump – It’s ok, I’m embarassed for me, too. At least I didn’t go to band camp. I’m thinking of some good questions for you, now.

    Also, I did a quick google search for Mr. Tucker and found his phone number. Dangerous!

    dolce – I’m not a bit tantrum thrower anymore. I’m more of a silent treatment kind of girl now. I know…it’s worse.

  12. … – I posted your questions as a comment on your blog; if you can somehow whine about your life in at least 3 of your 5 answers–bonus points!

  13. Always stick close by those who put serious thought in their survival strategy during the zombie apocalypse.

    Seriously. It makes for great conversation.

  14. Ooooh, I loooove the history behind your nickname. That’s freaking awesome (though having a crush on a high school teacher kinda gives me the willy nillies!).

  15. Ooooh, I loooove the history behind your nickname. That’s freaking awesome (though having a crush on a high school teacher kinda gives me the willy nillies!).

  16. I tried to give myself a nickname in college, but it totally didn’t work. It’s the kinda thing that’s gotta come NAT-UR-LY.

  17. Pingback: Confession « Bad Mutha Fudruckers

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