You win this time, venison.

Even though nobody asked what Harry Potter yarn looks like yesterday, I know you were all wondering. Here you go, cry babies:

Happy now? Animal abuse really brings my family together. We also bond over red wine and guacamole, but that is a story for another time.

On to some interesting stuff. Wednesday night I spent the night with my BFF, since her boyfriend was out of town and I am a good friend. Also she mentioned in passing that she was going to put a venison loin in the crock pot. Done and done. I’m there.

BFF and her boyfriend are really fun people, and do interesting things like spear fishing and free-diving. Their freezer is always stocked with fish they’ve speared while diving at a local ship wreck or shrimp they netted from the waterway in their backyard. I do interesting things like eat their fish and shrimp. BFF works in the land management industry and is really conscious of where her food comes from, growing most of her own vegetables, only eating meat if she’s killed it herself or knows the hunter personally,* and guilting me into using Blackle instead of Google. I’m making her sound weird and sanctimonious, but seriously she is awesome.

Long story short, the venison and accompanying homemade mac and cheese was delicious. BFF packed some leftovers for me to take for lunch, and I spent the first half of the day bragging to anyone who would listen about how my lunch was going to fucking rock. Unfortunately for me (and my co-workers), I spent the second half of the day camped pretty close to the office restroom as the wild game raced through me. Everyone at work was complaining about how cold it was yesterday, but my intestinal turmoil had my internal thermostat kicked pretty high and I was flushed and sweaty all day. New Year’s resolution to lose a few pounds? I’ll go ahead and scratch that off of my list.

Confession time: ok, it wasn’t the venison. It was the mac and cheese. Damn you, lactose intolerance! I’m still in denial.

*After a few drinks a couple of weeks back, BFF confessed to me that she had really been craving bacon lately, and did I want to take up archery with her so we could go bow-hunting for wild boar? I took archery as my PE requirement in college, so of course I said yes. We haven’t actually gone any farther with the planning than that initial conversation, but I’ll be sure to keep you posted. Though I will most likely fall asleep in the tree blind on the day of the hunt, waking only after someone else makes a kill and throwing up on myself while I watch as the kill is butchered.

16 thoughts on “You win this time, venison.

  1. So, did you find a good sock pattern? I just e-mailed my mom’s to another friend who is going to knit socks this year, too!

  2. I think I’m lactose intolerant… but some things are just worth it. Like every last bit of dairy. Also I can handle the pain, because I’m supa tough like that.

  3. andy – Scurry across the street and watch for snipers on rooftops. Stay in the middle of a group. Even if you are hurt, try not to show it and walk confidently, drawing no more attention to your than is necessary. That’s what I do, and it’s worked out well for me so far.

    surviving myself – Could you put me in touch with these people? Maybe we could start a support group. Like Dr. Phil says, ‘you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.’

    P.S. Don’t hate me for quoting Dr. Phil. Please.

    kate – I’ve got a toe-up good pattern, and my mom showed me at Christmas how to knit two socks simultaneously on a round needle. I’m in dork heaven!

  4. Picture: adorable

    I'd still go for the mac & cheese. Only because I love cheese! Hope you're feeling better though.

  5. I’ll ask the follow up question: Why is it called Harry Potter yarn?

    And…love mac and cheese. But I hear it’s pretty savage out in the wild and there’s a catch and release program in most states. You were lucky you got some.

  6. lilu – Cheese is so worth it. At least, that’s what I’ll tell myself when I’m diagnosed with colon polyps at the age of 27.

    marie – Thanks; Ernie is such a tolerant soul. And I am feeling much better today, although I'm not sure if the bag of peanut M&M's and Coke I ate for breakfast are helping or hurting. I'll keep you posted.

    dingo – I think it’s called Harry Potter yarn so people will pay $20+ for a ball of it. This colorway is supposed to be “Dumbledore,” but I’m really not sure why. It’s kind of pink-y…

  7. You are a regular Robin Hood. Well without the whole take from the rich thing or the tights or being gay.

    Other than that.

  8. I’m not a wild game fan, but I’ve had venison I liked. But I LOVE me some mac and cheese.

    More out of curiousity than anything…

    How do you make your wild beasts of a dog look sweet as kitty cats. I swear if I saw them in real life I would start running.

    Yes, I’m that kind of girl.

  9. rs27 – Whoa whoa whoa. Who you callin’ regular? This Robin Hood is definately irregular (see how I made a joke about my bowels? I’m good.).

    dolce – I love venison. Venison does not love me and runs screaming through my intestines. Or maybe that’s cheese.

    If you saw baby Ernie in real life, you would not start running. You would bow down before his cuteness and let him rape your face with his tongue. I’ve seen it happen too many times to doubt it.

  10. my boss had some beef jerky the other day that had MOLD ON IT and he was in the bathroom sick all day.

    When I reamed him out about eating something that was all blue and moldy he just said he figured it was okay because he knew where it came from… since his friend made the jerky I guess…

    I don’t even know.

  11. Did I hear someone say they have been craving bacon?


    …sign me up for some archery. I so mastered archery in 11th grade PE.

    Although you know you can get bacon at the store, right?

  12. oh no! lactose intolerant? my god, I’m sorry.

    and hey, I will be answering your questions soon. I swear. kind of. 😉

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