mfers, mohawk, bsb 1998, liz lemon asexual, mexico independence

No jokes, these are the Top Searches that led people to my blog this week, according to WordPress stats.  WTF, dudes?

If you end up here looking for some information re: mexican independence, you are going to leave dissatisfied.  Unless Harry Potter had something to do with it (the jury’s still out, but I’m leaning towards nofuckingway).

harry potter cinco de mayo

Felize Cinco de Mayo! Viva la Revolution!

I read this yesterday, and revealed to all in the comment section my love of Thundercats and my pre-school crush on Lionel.

What’s that you say?  His name is Lion-O?  Surely you jest.  No way that’s his real name.  Let’s skip on over to Wikipedia, the keeper of all pop culture knowledge.

Oh yes but it is.  Apparently even my pre-school brain rejected that bullshit and renamed him the more acceptable Lionel.  Lion-O?  Come on.  We aren’t some 9th graders trying to pass Spanish 101 here.  You can’t just add an “O” to the end of a word.  Or a name.

Ernie-O?

Dexter-O?

Hemo-…O? 

Alright, you got me on the last one.  If I could go back in time and tell my wanna-be hipster self that naming your cat after a blood disorder is a really douche-baggy thing to do, I would.  If photographic evidence existed of my thought process (“Hey, here’s my Genetics textbook, open to…H for Hemophilia.  What an awesome name for a cat!”) I would be the first one to send to it latfh and laugh.

how hemo got her name

I still drink PBR, though.  I’m on a budget!*

Permission to go off on a tangent?  Granted.

Thank you.

I love Ernie and I love that he’s named after Ernest Hemingway, but what I do not love is that his name is not very conducive to yelling.  As in “ERNIE!  DO NOT EAT THAT CAT POOP!”

It comes out sounding kind of forced and strangled.  Go ahead, try it.

If a sound can be guttural AND shriek-y at the same time, that would be it.  The sound of a mouse barfing.  A slightly larger than average mouse.**  So I’ve decided that when I need to yell at Ernie, I will call him Bernie.  So I can really put some UMPH behind it.  Or maybe I’ll just stick with YOUSONOFABITCH, as heard frequently in the phrase “YOUSONOFABITCH, you ate my late pair of underwear!”

————————————————————-
*
Which, in case you are wondering, is not as awesome as being on a boat.
**A Rodent of Unusual Size, if you will.

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5 thoughts on “mfers, mohawk, bsb 1998, liz lemon asexual, mexico independence

  1. Kiki – good name for yelling. Dax? Not so much. And Dax is named after a warrior in The Far Pavillions. I know it. But I have yet to ever find the reference again.

    In my mind, Dax is named after Dax Shepard.

  2. My dog is named Kismet. Try yelling that. It starts out ok but then just sort of peters out at the end. That’s why I gave her a middle name for when she’s in trouble (which is also my sister’s, and if you knew her you’d know why) and that helps. It’s like “KISmet MARIE!” and I end on a strong note. And she’s like a kid – she KNOWS when the Marie comes out, she’s in trouble. Maybe give Ernie one?

    His middle name is ‘Hemingway,’ so I guess I could yell out ERNEST HEMINGWAY, CUT THAT SHIT OUT! I mean, the neighbors’ opinion of me really can’t get any lower.

  3. Our latest little one is called Brad. Try being all authoritative while yelling BRAD at a 3 lb kitten.

    Kittens defy authority, regardless of what you name then.

  4. OMG! I went to Wikipedia and it turns out that the old Thundercat was not named Lincoln at all! He was named Lynx-O!

    And you mean that Hemo wasn’t named after your hemorrhoids?

    Doubly disappointed.

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