Your’re Computer Haz Been Enfected with SPYWARE!!1!

My computer is dying, y’all, DYING!  Poor, poor work computer.  She is suffering from a disgusting virus that has made a scary message utilizing poor grammar replace the picture of my sisters and I at my sister’s wedding as my desktop background.  Yesterday I had to break down and call our Tech department to come out and fix it.  I’m attempting to put the blame on downloading Internet Explorer 8, rather than admitting to my devious attempt to subvert the work web filter by adding Twitter and Facebook gadgets to my iGoogle page.  I have a feeling that wouldn’t go over well. 

And how’s this for salt in the wound:  My boss recently retired, and since a replacement has yet to be hired, his office is empty.  Just yesterday I had the brilliant idea to switch out my cruddy mouse, which was getting really jumpy and seriously cramping my free-hand Paint skills, for my boss’ mouse (I slathered my hand with Purell and rubbed it all over the new-to-me mouse, then wiped it off with a Kleenex.  The idea of using someone else’s mouse is kind of repulsive, but after this ritual I felt ok.).  Where am I working from today?  You got it – Old Boss’ office, complete with jumpy mouse.  Oh well, it could be worse.  His office definitely has a better view than mine.

So now a guy from Technology is working on my computer (not my work boyfriend – he moved to California, although this guy would be kind of cute if not for the lazy eye).  Let’s all hope he can fix her, without discovering that the virus was caused by me watching clips of Oprah’s MacKenzie Phillips interview at

Tomorrow I will tell you how I went to my first yoga class and did not fart.

6 thoughts on “Your’re Computer Haz Been Enfected with SPYWARE!!1!

  1. I am afeared of computer viruses. And I did not know about this twitter and facebook thing on the iGoogle page. Pray tell, my dear….

    Oh iGoogle is the shit for thwarting strict web filters. Down at the bottom of the page you can “add new gadgets” and search for ‘twitter’ (if that’s what you’re into). I can also check my gmail which is usually blocked by work web filter. So I can get my tweet on at work. Facebook – not so much. But that’s ok.

  2. Good luck to your icky computer.

    I don’t think I can watch the MacKenzie interview. I can’t even listen to the song “Wetter” by Twista. Call you daddy? Ummmm. No. That’s weird and disfunctional. Poor MacKenzie though. I can’t wait for your yoga story though. Good times.

    I’ve never heard of this “Wetter” song. But if it has anything to do with consensual/non-consensual incest, perhaps that’s a good thing.

  3. Oh, had that virus, took 3 days to get rid of. It was called Valdi or Violdi or something like that. I renamed it Voldamort. Work has totally blocked facebook from the netheregions am unable to thwart their system. Twitter thank god still works.

    Thank goodness for wonky-eyed Tech guys…she’s back up and running like a champ!

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