Tiny dinosaurs eat tiny ferns

Arggh…due to a monster staff meeting this morning I’m just now getting around to my Monday morning didn’t-have-the-patience-to-do-it-on-Fridaypile o’ work.


Usually during staff meetings I don’t have much to say.  Talky McGossips-a-lot is one of those annoying people who can’t go to the corner store without running into a guy he used to work with, the lady he lives down the street from, and his second cousins thrice-removed (on his mother’s side).  He usually fills us in on who’s involved in what public policy scandal this week.  Another co-worker spends 45 minutes telling everyone about the work he’s attempted to do the previous week, and how his efforts have been thwarted at every turn by circumstances outside of his control (“well, so-and-so was supposed to get back with me about that issue, but I’m still waiting on an email,”).  I, on the other hand, keep my mouth shut unless absolutely necessary and take detailed notes.


Yes, our meeting was about giraffes that look like my sister.  And tiny dinosaurs munching on tiny ferns.  Oh, you weren’t aware I worked at the department of Make Believe?  Consider yourself informed.

These endless, pointless, WEEKLY meetings are taking a toll on me.  I am ripping my cuticles to shreds.  Seriously, my hands look like Frodo Baggins after one of our marathon meetings.  Any advice?  I’m thinking of getting a stress ball, or does that broadcasting too loudly that the combined neurosis of my co-workers stresses me the fuck out?  It’s like some truly messed-up version of Captain Planet.

Gossip!  Ineptitude!  Micro-management!  Blame shifting!  Enclosed spaces!

By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN SHREDDED CUTICLES!

p.s. I blogged this weekend in my quest to post 30 blog posts in 30 days (jeez, could this sentence BE any more awkward?).  So check out
this and this for some weekend bloggy goodness.

10 thoughts on “Tiny dinosaurs eat tiny ferns

  1. I despise staff meetings. Which is why I now work in a place where I don’t have any. Church staff meetings? If I heard one more time, “I’ve been saying that for YEARS!” from the CE director, I think I might have up and slapped her and said, “Then why the HELL DIDN’T YOU DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT?!”

    I’ve been saying that for years quietly to myself and that one time I wrote it in my diary.

  2. That’s one wicked giraffe! Luckily I’ve been meeting free for a couple of months now but usually I go over my next blog post in my head while they bicker away at eachother. I also sneak in my iPhone and play scrabble under the table.

    The giraffe kept me sane…until I realized it looked like my little sister, and then I started wondering if this was all a dream, BUT IT WASN’T, and I was still in a meeting.

  3. I really like the dinosaur. Much like Toe, I play games on my phone. Sometimes Monopoly.

    But I don’t have a smart phone! I have a dumb phone. And so, I destroy my nails.

  4. My bosses seem to enjoy calling staff meetings for the silliest of things. Just today, I got cornered in my office about not following the chain of command. on a nothing issue. seriously? I’m surprised we didn’t have a staff meeting about that. *sigh*

    I also wish I could draw giraffes like you. You are clearly awesome.

    A public flogging! Yes!

    You *thwap* will follow *thwap* the chain *thwap* of command! *THWAP*

  5. Oh man!!!!! I’ve seen you commenting around the blogosphere and wondered why you hadn’t updated your blog in a while. I was so sad. 😦 😦 This is the made face.

    Anyway, now I have to go back and catch up.

    Oh, and tell your sister that I don’t know what she can do about that long neck but there are lots of products on the market that can help her with those spots.

    She really regrets her ‘neck band’ phase.

  6. I fortunately do not see the resemblance between myself and the giraffe. Except that it is really cute!

    Whatever. You know it’s true.

  7. HATE staff meetings or any meetings. If they are big enough, I’ve either brought in my phone to play on or some actually work I can do.

    Ours are small – 6 people.

  8. Once upon a time, when I had a job and had to go to staff meetings, I bought an iPod. I would put on my iPod at the staff meetings and bob my head. Sometimes people would look at me as though mouthing silent questions. I would laugh at them. Sometimes I would sing. I do not have to go to staff meetings anymore. The end.

    So, I say you get an iPod.

    Also, your little sister is totally hot.

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