Tae Bo! Let’s go!

Hello, chickadees! My calendar has informed me that it is September 29th, and you know what that means–the countdown to HALLOWEEN has begun! Seriously, have you thought about your costume? I’ve thought about mine. I won’t reveal it here yet, but I will let you know it involves a leotard.


And since (as I heard a pageant coach explain it so neatly) you can’t put 10 pounds of sugar in a 5 pound bag, I decided to turn to my old friend, Billy Blanks.

You remember Billy Blanks of Tae Bo fame, right?

tae bo

Aw yeah.

Of course you do.

I bought Billy’s Tae Bo box set on VHS before I left for my first year of college, determined to fend off the freshman 15.  Little did I know I’d be so disappointed at my tiny women’s college that I’d survive on a diet of saltines and vodka-and-cranberry juice and end up losing 15+ pounds.

What was once a 4-tape set has been whittled down by time to one VHS tape, but luckily it is the basic workout, rather than the instructional video or (heaven forbid!) the advanced workout.  Baby steps.

The only VCR in my house is in my bedroom, so I kicked the dog beds out to clear a space between my bed and my dresser for jabs and uppercuts.  Unfortunately I didn’t sweep up my gym space and I ended up slipping on all the accumulated dog dirt and hair during a stretch.  At least it wasn’t during a back kick.  Another snag was when Ernie came bounding in the bedroom, excited by my enthusiastic answer to Billy’s, “how are you feeling?!?” (answer: “All right!” *fist pump*) and tackled me onto the bed.

ernie vs. billy

Dammit, Ernie, mommy needs to get rid of 5 pounds of sugar.

All in all, it is a good workout.  An especially good ab workout, since Billy’s nipple keeps escaping his unitard? leotard? spandex coveralls? and peeking out at me.  My friend Cory and I used to sit on my couch, drinks in hand, clutching our sides and laughing at each appearance of the “renegade nipple.”  A good drinking game AND a good ab workout.

8 thoughts on “Tae Bo! Let’s go!

  1. Ah SHIIIIT. I needed that pic this morning, and I also was grateful for the visualization of you falling during a back kick.

    I borrowed my mom’s Latin Synergy last night. Features a thousand Latin dances in workout format. I’m sure I looked beyond foolishm during the Cha Cha, but my abs are so sore this morning– I can barely laugh.

    Latin Synergy sounds awesome. Like when I accidently stop at the Urban Latino radio station and jam out.

  2. I also bought the Tae Bo tapes!! I used them for a while, felt like a moron, and now they sit somewhere in the house. I don’t dare get rid of them. I am not even sure we have a VCR any more. LOL

    Also, I bought the Gazelle because of Tony Little. Apparently I’m a sucker for crap sold on TV by dudes in spandex. The Gazelle also resides somewhere in my house – mostly because I don’t know what to do with it.

    And also again, my dogs love it when I get into exercising – they think it’s play time. Sadly, all it means is my exercise routine consists of yelling and swatting at them to get them out of the way!

    Wow – you have a Gazelle? Is it as fun as it looks?

  3. Tiny Apartment does not lend itself to working out. Neither do sneaky felines. So, I’m just going to stay fat.

    I seriously considered leaning my tv up again the back window and tae bo-ing in the backyard.

  4. LOL taebo and kickboxing always put me in a good mood, especially if they have good songs. That drawing is hilarious!

    Billy Blanks does NOT have good taste in music. He does, however, know how to use a strobe light tastefully.

  5. I’d be afraid to kick someone in the head or worse, accidently punch a hole in the wall. Small spaces suck for trying to work out so I’m attempting to eat my way thin via Atkins.

    My home gym space is a 2′ x 4′ rectangle I kicked clear of dirty laundry.

  6. I think you can skip the workout. Just don a unitard and no one will notice your 5 pounds of sugar if a renegade nipple pops out every now and then.

    That’s my plan b.

  7. Yes, the Gazelle is as fun as it looks. You will also grow really long hair that you have the urge to wear in a hat (with the pony tail going THROUGH that little hole in the back). Seriously, it is fun to play with, but I never felt I got a real work out. I also bought the Gazelle lite because it didn’t have all those extra resistance bands. I should have known – it was too cheap.

    I have to admit to a strong desire for the girlie baseball helmets with the ponytail hole in the back when I played little league. Now I don’t even have a ponytail :(.

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