Hello, chickadees! My calendar has informed me that it is September 29th, and you know what that means–the countdown to HALLOWEEN has begun! Seriously, have you thought about your costume? I’ve thought about mine. I won’t reveal it here yet, but I will let you know it involves a leotard.
And since (as I heard a pageant coach explain it so neatly) you can’t put 10 pounds of sugar in a 5 pound bag, I decided to turn to my old friend, Billy Blanks.
You remember Billy Blanks of Tae Bo fame, right?
Of course you do.
I bought Billy’s Tae Bo box set on VHS before I left for my first year of college, determined to fend off the freshman 15. Little did I know I’d be so disappointed at my tiny women’s college that I’d survive on a diet of saltines and vodka-and-cranberry juice and end up losing 15+ pounds.
What was once a 4-tape set has been whittled down by time to one VHS tape, but luckily it is the basic workout, rather than the instructional video or (heaven forbid!) the advanced workout. Baby steps.
The only VCR in my house is in my bedroom, so I kicked the dog beds out to clear a space between my bed and my dresser for jabs and uppercuts. Unfortunately I didn’t sweep up my gym space and I ended up slipping on all the accumulated dog dirt and hair during a stretch. At least it wasn’t during a back kick. Another snag was when Ernie came bounding in the bedroom, excited by my enthusiastic answer to Billy’s, “how are you feeling?!?” (answer: “All right!” *fist pump*) and tackled me onto the bed.
Dammit, Ernie, mommy needs to get rid of 5 pounds of sugar.
All in all, it is a good workout. An especially good ab workout, since Billy’s nipple keeps escaping his unitard? leotard? spandex coveralls? and peeking out at me. My friend Cory and I used to sit on my couch, drinks in hand, clutching our sides and laughing at each appearance of the “renegade nipple.” A good drinking game AND a good ab workout.