No thank you

Every Wednesday morning Harris Teeter sends me an email filling me in on what’s on sale for the upcoming week.  Holyfoodporn I love it.  Harris Teeter even sends me a personalized list based on what I normally buy.  I know I should be creeped out that they are tracking my purchases, and it is a little unsettling when a sale on Tampax super absorbents just happens to coincide with my period, but mainly I love scrolling through the list and making a shopping list in my head.

It’s also kind of a stroll down memory lane.  You know, you’re right, Harris Teeter; I have been buying an awful lot of mushrooms.  And cranberry juice.  And peanut butter.

But this:

white asparagusThanks but no thanks.

Sorry Harris Teeter.  I don’t care how good of a sale you’re running, but I am NOT buying or eating white asparagus.  It looks creepy and human.

8 thoughts on “No thank you

  1. Humany fingers! And yes. It’s creepy that Harris Teeters stalks you. But I miss Harris Teeters. Show me the love, baby. Hy-vee just doesn’t cut it here in the north.

    Harris Teeter only stalks me because he LOVES me.

  2. We don’t have Harris Teeter here either. My hub worked in DC for 5 months and practically worshipped at that place, so I’ve at least seen it. Way nicer than our Kroger. But Kroger stalks us too – we get specialized coupons at the end of shopping – they print out right there at the register. Nothing makes you feel more lonely than realizing Kroger thinks you’re a sad cat lady (coupons for cat treats, litter, or food) who buys a lot of protein bars (for the runner hub) and yogurt.

    Harris Teeter does the coupon thing, too…nothing better than getting coupons for dog food, batteries, and yogurt when you’re running through the check out with tampons and a bottle of wine.

  3. At first I thought that was some weird form of hot dog and then I thought it was weird french fries. Once I read what you wrote, I almost threw up a little in my mouth.

    I do love me ‘Teeter though.

    They look like weird albino penises.

  4. Does the white asparagus taste the same as the green?? Inquiring minds want to know…
    We don’t have a Harris Teeter anywhere near me. Damnit! 😉

    I don’t know if it does taste the same…I’m not willing to give it a try.

  5. I didn’t know who in the Holy Hell Harris Teeter was. Confused. Then I realized it was a grocer, then you showed the white asparagus, and I’ll never be the same EVER again. I want someone to eat it and get back to us on how it tastes. Anyone? Anyone?

    I pity your Harris Teeter-less existence. Unless you live near a Papa Joe’s (which I don’t anymore)…do you know you can sample wine there from a fountain-like dispenser and DRINK WHILE YOU SHOP?!? Will wonders never cease?

  6. I don’t have a Harris Teeter either, but I am also being stalked by Kroger. Not only do they spit out coupons at the end of my purchase related to what I bought, but they mail me huge packages of them too. Now, there is the odd 10% that are nothing I have EVER bought or would ever buy, but maybe they are trying to get me to branch out and see the world a bit?

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