Prepare to have your mind blown, Canadian Beyoncé-style

I’m sure everyone who reads this blog also reads Ben over at No Ordinary Rollercoaster.  And seriously?  If you don’t, you are an idiot because that shit is awesome.  I mean hello – his dogs have snuggies.  If that does not reek of awesome-sauce I don’t know what does.  Get with the program, people.

A couple of weeks ago he promised to answer any questions posed by his readers via video post (vlog?  Is that what the kids are calling it?).  And, as so often happens in my life, I couldn’t think of one appropriate response.  In truth, I couldn’t even think of one inappropriate response.  I was whatever you call it when your brain freezes up and your tongue gets tied.

So, dear readers, I squeezed my eyes shut and threw a Hail Mary.

ben

Canadians must celebrate Christmas the same way they do Thanksgiving – early.  Because Ladies and Gentlemen, feast your eyes on THIS:

NOR Video for Bad Mutha Fudruckers from Benjamin Boudreau on Vimeo.

This says it all:

It was not even a little bit funny, it was poo squirting, face punching, puppy flipping hilarious!!!

in an email from The Friend

But sarahdotcom says it best:

yo, beyonce. i’m really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but ben boudreau made the best single ladies video of all time. OF ALL TIME.

sarahdotcom

I haven’t even seen this yet, because my stupid work filter won’t let me.  So let me how awesome it is in the comments.  Or if the video isn’t working at all.

Check out Ben’s blog for a complete list of his Blitzkrieg of Video Awesomeness.

3, no make that 2, items of business

No, I have not fallen off of the blogging wagon.  Well, I may have bounced off when we hit that last pot hole, but I’m back on now.  Mom was right – you should always wear a seat belt.  And really?  30 posts in 30 days was never going to happen.

It is a big news day here, so let’s get down to business.

First up: BSB Brian Littrell has H1N1!  WTF?  My middle high school self is in shock.  Is no one safe?!?  Somewhere in there is a joke about making out with BSB posters and getting infected, but I can’t quite make the connection today.  Besides, a) Brian was never my fav – I was a Nick/AJ girl; and b) BSB are no longer relevant to my interests.  But wait – I just posted about them.  I’m not sure where I’m going with this.

Next item on the agenda: Halloween costumes!  I have decided to be a reverse mermaid.  Yeah.  Last year I was a baked potato.  I’ve already resigned myself to another Halloween spent explaining what my costume is to every drunk person I encounter, but my enthusiasm will not be dampened!  I spent the weekend sculpting the fish head part of my costume.  I mean, I’ve already done the mermaid thing, so now it’s time to shake things up a bit.

halloween 09

I forgot what the third thing was that I was going to post about.  Perhaps I’ll remember for tomorrow.

I need some help

Hey internets, I am faced with another shitty-weather weekend, and I need some help STAT.  I absolutely cannot handle losing to Steve at Scrabble anymore.  It is seriously damaging my self-image.  I need your help to come up with some other 2 player games (but not chess – I don’t know how to play and refuse to learn until Wizard’s Chess becomes available).  Keep in mind we are usually, to quote the great Ben Boudreau, half in the bag while playing.

So far I’ve come up with Othello.

And that’s about it.

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.  You’re my only hope.

Enjoy the weekend!

Can you handle this?

Are you sitting down?  ‘Cause I’m about to drop a bomb on you.

I GOT A NEW LUNCH BOX!

I know, right?  Very exciting.  Almost too exciting for a Thursday.  In fact, I’m going to have to ask you to chill the fuck out.  After all, it’s my lunch box.

And actually, “new” is a bit misleading, as that may lead you to believe that I had a lunch box prior to my last night impulse acquisition, which I did not.  I did have one of these, however, to keep my pb&j from getting smushed.

wonderbread

‘Cause smushed pb&j is full of FAIL.

So anyhow, I was in Food Lion last night, stocking up on bring-your-lunch-to-work essentials, and somehow I ended up in the far back corner.  This is the section of the store Food Lion calls the “international section” but I call Sección Latino because although there are some token cans of crispy noodles thrown in there for good measure, it is heavily weighted towards products of the hispanic persuasion, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do.  There I was, marveling at the multitude of Goya nectars, when I saw a small display of kitchen appliances.  Well, appliances may not be the right word, as there was not a power cord to be found.  Mini mortal and pestles, tortilla warmers, and (wait for it…) lunch boxes!

So this baby (in black) came home with me.

lunch box

Unfortunately the lunch box, excuse me the Thermal Food Carrier, does not come with an abuela to pack me a delicious and nutritious shrimp, rice, and soup lunch, so most likely my lunch will continue to consist of a pb&j sandwich, crackers, whatever fruit is in season/on sale, and some cheese.  Honestly, I’m not complaining.  Having to explain to my Abuela why I didn’t finish my soup EVEN THOUGH SHE SPENT ALL NIGHT SIMMERING IT TO PERFECTION SO I WOULD HAVE SOMETHING WARM IN MY BELLY AND NOW HER ANKLES ARE SWOLLEN would be too much pressure.

You can’t really tell from the picture (but I know you are dying to hear about), but one of the removable compartments is divided into 3 mini compartments.  I know, right?  Awesome.  Perfect for keeping my grapes from touching my Special K Crackers* and getting them all wet and mushy.

So yeah.  That’s it for today.  Oh – and MY NEW LUNCHBOX cost <$7.  Suck it, Mr. Bento.
———————————————————–
*
Which, fyi, are the size of postage stamps.  From the commercials (and the box) I expected them to be at least the size of a saltine.  So the recommended 17 cracker serving is not as generous as you might think.