In which Dexter discovers he loves the taste of deer poop.

Work sucks.

There, I said it.  Coming back to work after 16 days off blows.  As I’m sure this is news to no one, we’ll be moving right along.

We had a surprisingly uneventful road trip up to Michigan.  I packed my baby sister and the dogs into the car and, leaving Hemo at home to be looked after by my neighbor/co-worker, started the 15 hour trek to the outer suburbs of Detroit.

Why, you may ask, did Hemo get to stay home, most likely licking her kitty vagina on  my pillows and gorging herself on treats I bought in a fit of guilt?  It is not because she is a poor road tripper – on the contrary, she is an excellent road tripper.  On one trip from NC to MI she sat stoically in her (soft-sided, collapsible) car carrier while Ernie sat on her for who knows how long until I happened to glance in the backseat and shoo him off.  No, Hemo is just a horrible, horrible house guest.  Hissing at babies, scratching couches, peeing in inappropriate places — she has long since worn out her welcome at my mom’s house.

Our ride up was uneventful.  After Dexter stopped mouth-breathing all over my sister and followed Ernie’s example by falling asleep in the backseat, it was clear sailing.  We did have to listen to Jason DeRulo’s “Whatcha Say” about a million times, but the song kind of grew on me and it ended up being not so bad.

The week and a half I spent in Michigan with my mom and her family went by too, too fast.  It was a blur of snow, food, sleeping in, Harry Potter yarn, hot chocolate, food, wine, and delicious food.  Ernie and Dex had a grand time playing in the snow.  It’s a shame the only picture I have of my time up there is the following, in which I tried to get a family portrait of my dogs along with my mom’s pit bull, Callie.  Well, she’s not actually my mom’s dog, she’s my stepbrother’s, but after he bought her and had her ears clipped, his drug habit caught up with him and he spent several years in and out of shady rental homes with no-pets policies before finally ending up in jail (he’s out now).  So Callie lives with my mom and stepdad, and protects my sister from chipmunks.

Wow.  What a photogenic bunch.

Callie (left) Poor Callie, she looks like she is losing a piece of her soul to the camera.  Honestly, for all her 100+ pounds (my sister steadfastly claims that Callie is 90 pounds, but come on…she makes Dexter look slim), she is the sweetest, most insecure sensitive dog I have ever met.  And she smells like Doritos.

Dexter (middle) looks like he just suffered a stroke.  I love you Dex, but you are out of the running to become America’s Next Top Model.

Ernie (right) has not, to my knowledge at least, been taking any steroids, nor was his father a giraffe.  This picture, however, argues otherwise.

I guess they come by it honest, as I have not taken a decent picture since approximately 1983.

Coming up, I have a lot of stuff to tell you, including how my car gave me the middle finger on the Ohio Turnpike and my adventures converting a monstrous butternut squash to monstrous mound of cubed butternut squash.  Stay tuned!

11 thoughts on “In which Dexter discovers he loves the taste of deer poop.

  1. Ernie looks like he’s waiting for you to drop some food 🙂

    at least you got out of michigan before the temp dropped to below zero 😛 i want to leave just because of that!

  2. holy shit ernie is so cute.

    and i’m still in sc. but it’s fucking cold here. and i’m unhappy about it.

  3. Ha, they are all so very bored with the idea of having their souls sucked out by the camera. I’m sure you could have gotten a smile if you had food in your hand at the time. At least that’s how I get Buddy to take good pictures.

  4. I’m impressed you got three large dogs to sit still AND look in the same direction at the same time. I love the different expressions too, so adorable!!

    Over Thanksgiving, I drove 2000 miles with two dogs and an upset cat (I moved and my hub had one dog and one cat in the other car). One dog mouth-breathed on us most of the time. The other slept in the very back or leaned against the back door like he couldn’t escape fast enough. The cat meowed violently most of the way – he only had one accident in his hard-sided crate. And that was after a turn and a dog accidentally made his crate roll over several times. I couldn’t get too mad, I’d probably shit myself too if I suddenly was rolling around the back of a car locked in a plastic crate.

    I’m glad you enjoyed your trip and you and the babies made it up and back safely! Welcome back 🙂

  5. Beautiful dogs. I agree with Ria. Ernie is definitely waiting for some Christmas food droppings there. BTW now that damn song is in my head.

  6. OMG, OMG, OMG, pit bull pictures!!! Finally, someone else! Tee hee.

    Callie looks like my-slash-my-sister’s Presa, Jacobi … she’s got quite the size to her. 😛

  7. That is an awesome photo. What do you mean Dexter won’t win the next top model? ;o)
    Glad to hear you made it there and back all in one piece, sorry to hear about your car breaking down.
    Looks like Dexter got along great with Callie, which can only be a great thing…and she does make D look a bit slimmer, so she has to be 100lbs.
    Give Dex a huge hug from me.
    Love you,

    All three of them got along great! I think Dex appreciated that Callie made him look slim.

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