Things I’ve learned from LOST

I’m know I’m late to the party, but thanks to Netflix I am 6 episodes deep into the 3rd season of LOST.  I’ve previously shared how Full House burned for all eternity the correct spelling of “congratulations” into my brain, so today I’ve like to share what I’ve learned from LOST (so far).

Lost: Lesson 1

1. iteration, definition of: I don’t know if I’ve ever before read or heard the word “iteration” before the episode where Sayid and the gang first hear Rousseau’s mayday message.  I’ve heard reiterate, but never iteration.


Compression Syndrome

2. compartment syndrome, treatment of : You gotta cut. that. limb. off.  Or die. (see also Carlyle, Boone)


Arzt

3. dynamite, instability of:  Thanks, Dr. Arzt.  Sorry about…well, you know.  Blowing up.

Polar bears are smart

4. bears, polar: They “are, like, the Einsteins of the bear community.”  According to the BBC, anyway.

Thank you, Danny Tanner

I’m sure everyone knows it’s Election Day. Get out and vote, cast a provisional ballot if you have to, just do it! Plus, you can collect some serious goodies just for fulfilling your civic duties. Krispie Kreme is giving away free donuts, Ben & Jerry’s is giving away free scoops of ice cream (between 5 and 8pm), and Starbucks is giving away free tall coffees. So go vote, and get some free stuff, too!

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I was thinking last night about how much I’ve learned from “Full House.” Not a month goes by that I don’t thank Uncle Jesse for helping me remember that “Congratulations” is spelled with a ‘t’ rather than a ‘d.’ In one episode, Joey is pitching his idea for a Ranger Joe tv show, and Jesse made him a cake with “CONGRATS JOEY” written on it to celebrate his success, then covers up some letters to demonstrate how the cake could easily function as a sympathy cake (“RATS JOEY”). It’s not like I decorate cakes for a living, but you’d be surprised how often I’m called upon to offer someone congratulations for an accomplishment, be it 1,000th blog post or a coworker’s retirement.

Remember the episode where Stephanie is entering the school spelling bee? Danny helps her remember how to spell ‘success’ by teaching her the pneumonic, “double the c, double the s, and you will have ‘success’.” Got it!

Speaking of Stephanie, how about when she got tired of her dance troupe and totally messed up their routine to Boyz II Men’s “Motown Philly” on purpose so she’d get kicked out? Not cool, Steph. Not cool at all. Especially with that sweet-ass costume. Move over, Sparkle Motion. Stephanie Tanner is kickin’ it just for you.

Would I ever wear pleated pants and a vest to my first day of junior high? No way. I learned from D.J.’s mistakes. I don’t want to wear the same outfit as my English teacher and end up eating my lunch in a phone booth (A phone booth? Really? Did anyone’s school cafeteria have a phone booth?).

Other things I learned from Full House? It is ok to:

  • Ask your Canadian college buddy to move in with you and help raise your three daughters after your wife dies, and expect that friend to live in an alcove off of the living room.
  • Live in your brother-in-law’s attic with your new wife and twin boys.
  • Get your family lost on what you believe to be a deserted island, because eventually you will meet up with the Beach Boys and have an awesome family vacation.

Pimpslap Religion

I saw this driving home from Virginia last night. I’m not sure what else to say about it, other than it shared storefront space in a strip mall with a hair salon called Hairicanes. Across the street is a business called “Granny’s Day Care,” but I haven’t figured out if it’s Granny who is doing the babysitting, or if Granny is the one getting her diaper changed. I kind of want to know, but I kind of don’t. This block of Market Street is pretty much most of North Carolina in a nutshell. Go ‘CANES!

This weekend I was in Richmond with my aunts, sisters, and mom. Every year my Aunt Lisa’s company reserves King’s Dominion for a Family Appreciation Day, and we get together to enjoy funnel cakes, pretzels, fried oreos (don’t ask), frozen lemonade, and the awesomely short lines for the rides. I feel like I’m in that episode of Full House where they go to DisneyWorld and Michelle is named “Princess for the Day” or some crap, and they get front of the line privileges. Seriously, the day rocked. Except no Uncle Jesse. Boo.
It wasn’t until I was halfway into the 5 hour drive home that I started thinking about the names of the coasters I’d been enjoying all day. Just to throw a couple out there for you, we have:

  1. The Dominator
  2. The Anaconda
  3. The Shocker

Ok, the last one was technically the “Shock Wave,” but still, I’m sensing a pattern. I think King’s Dominion wants to violate me. But as long as they keep the fried oreos coming, I guess I’m ok with it.