Things I put in my mouth last night (PG-13 edition):
-74 kabillion wasabi-rice crackers
-2 tentative bites of Harris Teeter ham-type spread
-2 beer bongs (how old am I again?)
-1 bison burger
-generous portion of coarse-ground mustard*
-4 sauteed onion slices*
-macaroni and cheese*
-macaroni and cheese
-8 zillion tater tots
-1 1/2 glasses wine
-1 1/2 shots strawberry vodka with Squirt chaser
Shows I watched last night:
-3/4 episode My Name is Earl (during which decided I don’t like watching episodes where Earl and Joy are married, because it makes me sad)
-1/2 episode of Kath & Kim (during which I decided I really need to get some cool pajamas)
-1 full episode of The Office (during which I talked to D’s mom, explained that she was drunk but that she wanted Horton Hears a Whoo! on DVD for Christmas)
-Whether or not Julie’s neighbors are retarded
-Who should play Jacob in the next Twilight movie
-Who we would have cast as Rosalie***
rape fantasy non-consensual-while-still-remaining-non-violent sex fantasy
-My penchant for chubby guys
-Whether or not ‘bison’ is spanish for ‘delicious beefy goodness’****
-number of nuts I found in Julie’s chair from last week when I ate a drumstick while watching Katt Williams’ stand up comedy: 1*****
-number of Katt Williams’ quotes: 24 (approximate)
-number of beer bongs D took: 3
-number of beer bongs Julie spit on Kristen: 1/2
That is all, folks. It’s Friday, and I am lazy.
*denotes items I put on my bison burger
**denotes an item I put on my tater tots
****No, but I had Julie fooled.
*****Bonus: yes, I did eat it.
Yay for you! Email me at badmuthafudrucker [at] gmail [dot] com to let me know what size t-shirt you’d like and where you’d like me to send it. BTW, if you haven’t read LBluca77’s blog, you are missing out. I’ve never laughed so hard about someone’s food addiction.
Thanks again to Marie, BrazenBareToe, and BohoPoetGirl for pimping the contest; I’ve got something special for you lovely ladies if you’ll send me an email to let me know where to send it.
In other news…
- BlogSecret repercussions continue to be felt here at Bad Mutha Fudrucker Central. For the back story, read here and here. S0, Potential read Anonymous’ letter and left a comment saying “there is undeniable potential.” Anonymous is taking Potential out to dinner when he gets back into town in two weeks, so hopefully he’ll give us an update after their dinner.
- It’s official–I am way out of shape. I played Wii Fit at my dad’s on Thanksgiving, and after 15 minutes of Wii hula-hooping, my abs were killing me and my legs felt like jelly. The next day I felt like I got pummelled by Hans and Franz.
- I suck at Scrabble. Or Steve is really good. I’m not sure which one. He definitely knows his way around the rules, though. Current standings: Steve-3, Me-1. It is a sad day.
- Marie’s pumpkin bread is idiot-proof. I am a terrible baker; I use 1 measuring cup for both my wet and dry ingredients, I do not allow my eggs to come to room temperature before adding them, I don’t own a mixer and have to mix everything by hand, the list goes on. Despite these handicaps, I managed to turn out 2 loaves of pumpkin bread and 24 mini muffins. Win!
- I’ve seen Twilight. Twice. One of my girlfriends had a dream in which Edward had beautiful, glowing testicles. Another friend dreamt that he wrote her research paper. I haven’t had my Edward dream yet.